Saudi Arabia’s Political Purge

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There has been a lot of news this week out of Saudi Arabia, which is basically America’s kooky rich uncle who occasionally beheads people. We all have one. But over the weekend, the kingdom went through some serious turmoil.

TV REPORTER: Breaking news. TV REPORTER: Breaking news out of Saudi Arabia. Palace intrigue to the nth degree. We’re seeing a truly historic upheaval unfold right now. A royal purge in Saudi Arabia. Rounding up several high profile people. Major arrests in Saudi Arabia. Meanwhile, a Saudi prince and several colleagues were killed in a helicopter crash on Sunday.

Saudis also intercepted a ballistic missile, that missile fired from Yemen. TV REPORTER: What in the world is going on in Saudi Arabia? The biggest story by far, is the heir to the throne, Prince Mohammed bin Salman, right? Who has been arresting most of the other princes, a sheik-ton of them? Saudi Arabia has more princes than a Minneapolis Halloween party. It’s so hard to keep track of these people. And that’s what makes this story peculiar, right?

Saudi Arabia is ruled by one big family, the House of Saud. So right now, we don’t really know if we need to send in the UN, or Andy Cohen. And the kingdom is calling this a crackdown on corrupt princes, but I don’t know if you buy it, because they’re Saudi princes. Like, what do you mean “corruption”? Like, they already have all the money. Just look at this prince’s private airplane. Look at that.

That’s his normal ride. How do you bribe that guy? As, as it turns out, as it turns out, there might be more going on here than just corruption. What’s being presented as a crackdown on corruption, in my opinion, that’s a total smokescreen for what this is, is an abrupt consolidation of power by the crown prince and the elimination of rivals. Wait a minute. Consolidating power and getting rid of his political rivals. I wonder how President Trump feels about this whole thing?

President Trump is responding to the rapidly moving developments in Saudi Arabia. In two tweets yesterday, Trump endorsed Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman’s new corruption crackdown, tweeting, quote, “I have great confidence in King Salman “and the crown prince of Saudi Arabia. They know exactly what they are doing.” Of course, Trump loves this. Locking up political rivals is Trump’s wet dream.

He probably phoned the prince and he was like, (mimics Trump): “Is it true? It is true that you’re locking up all the enemies?” He’s like, (Egyptian accent): “That’s right, Donald. All of them. (mimics Trump): “Even Hillary? (Egyptian accent): “No, Donald, this is a different country. (mimics Trump); Oh, sad.” (laughter and applause) (normal voice): Now, now, look, I’m not saying that Trump endorsed these arrests, but I’m not saying that he didn’t.

The crown prince now has ties to Jared Kushner, Trump’s son-in-law and senior advisor, who actually took an unannounced trip to Saudi Arabia just days before this mass purge, and was reportedly up until 4:00 a.m., hanging out with the crown prince. Oh. Goddamn, J. Kush and the prince up till 4:00 a.m. Yeah. What could they possibly have been doing?

Now, to be fair, the situation in Saudi Arabia is a lot more complicated than that, right? The crown prince isn’t just trying to grab power, he’s also trying to modernize Saudi Arabia. Side-lining the old guard could let him diversify the economy, and expand women’s rights. So the kingdom might become more autocratic, but it also might become more free, which is a paradox, you know?

It’s like how not being monogamous can actually strengthen a relationship, you know? I mean, I’m, I’m not saying that would be a good idea, I’m-I’m just saying experts have found this to be true. Which a couple could test if certain people weren’t so rigid, but I’m just pointing that out. But no matter what the reasons, long story short, long story short, these princes are being detained and Saudi Arabia is Saudi Arabia, they’re being held in Riyadh’s harshest accommodations.

If you want to know more information about Saudi Arabia, you can watch the video below:

11 princes and nearly 40 current or former officials detained, reportedly being held at the lavish Ritz Carlton in Saudi Arabia in Riyadh. Arrested at the Ritz Carlton? Wow. That’s how you know your country’s rich, the world’s best hotel is your prison. It definitely makes it hard to complain about being oppressed. “I am been caged like an animal! “My rights are being curtailed! Alexa, play some mood music!” And the warden is probably like, “Hey, quiet down, or you go to the Marriott!” “No!”

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